Sunday, July 23, 2006

SUNDAY FUNNIES: Bush, G8 and the Middle East

I'm a big fan of comedy shows. Anything from stand-up to late-night shows makes me laugh. Everyone loves a good laugh so I will regularily post the "The week's best late-night laughs" which I read out of the London Free Press.

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

President Bush has a new plan to fight global warming. We're going to invade the sun.

It was so hot today down in Washington, D.C., Bush said, "Maybe there is something with the global warming s---."

President Bush is back from the G-8 Summit over there in Russia. The G-8 Summit went very well. Today the world leaders announced they are still very close to finding a replacement for Star Jones.

THE COLBERT REPORT WITH STEPHEN COLBERT

I was flipping through the latest issue of O Magazine when I had my own personal "aha!" moment. It happened when I read the interview with Oprah and best friend Gayle King, where they announced they are not gay. As Oprah said in the article, "I understand why people think we're gay. There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women." Even Oprah's friendships are on a higher level than everyone else's!

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART

Our fearless leader caused quite a stir at the G-8 Summit when microphones captured him in an unguarded moment, saying, "See, the irony is that what they need to do is to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this s--- and it's over." Naturally, the media is making a big deal about the President cursing. Do you know how lucky we are that that's all that was caught? I'm impressed the President was on topic. Some of Bush's other comments were less focused: "I'm not going to talk too damn long like the rest of them. Some of these guys talk too long."

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN

Today, the Vatican condemned Israel's attacks on Hezbollah. Which was a good thing, because yesterday, Jews and Muslims worldwide were asking, "What do the Catholics think?"

One thousand Americans were evacuated from Lebanon aboard a cruise ship called the Orient Queen. Evacuation should go twice as fast once the Orient Queen is joined by its sister ship, the Asian Flamer.

The heat wave is striking Europe. In Ireland, there were record temperatures and power outages. It's the first time Irish blackouts weren't caused by alcohol.

TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO

President Bush was recorded using a four-letter word at the G-8 Summit in Russia. At first everyone thought he had mispronounced "Shiite."

Press secretary Tony Snow says when Bush was told he was recorded saying a four-letter word, he rolled his eyes and laughed it off, which is ironic. Bush is now reacting to himself the way everybody else does.

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