Sunday, July 23, 2006

Lorrie Goldstein Hits it on the Nail Again!

Another gem from Sun reporter, Lorrie Goldstein. I love his sarcastic/satirical writing style of making fun of current events. I commented on another one of his great articles when he wrote about the Ryerson and Margaret Somerville fiasco in June. A sample:

[...]
Memo to: The Parliamentary Press Gallery

From: Your Supreme Commander

Re: Ongoing Journalistic Jihad Against Prime Minister Stephen Harper: Status Report

Dear Colleagues:

Greetings from myself and the other executive members of the Parliamentary Press Gallery (PPG).

I hope you are enjoying the summer.

As required by Bylaw 45069484235, Chapter 2, Sections a, b, c and d, Subsection ii and iii of the Parliamentary Press Gallery Constitution (Revised Statutes, 2006) I am required to report on the PPG's continuing efforts to bring Prime Minister Stephen Harper to his knees in the face of the mighty Parliamentary Press Gallery.

Frankly, folks, things are not going too well.

You will recall that the prime minister undermined our early resolve to prevent him from choosing which PPG members he would talk to at PPG press conferences by the diabolically clever tactic of choosing which PPG members he would talk to in one-on-one interviews.

Since, as you know, most of us would sell our firstborn for an exclusive interview with the prime minister, the PPG's resolve on this issue has been somewhat compromised.

Actually, we pretty much collapsed like a house of cards.

I am also unhappy to report that public reaction to our announced boycott of the Prime Minister's press conferences has not been exceedingly positive. Typical of the many emails our office has received was this one: "Who do you navel-gazing, pasty-faced twits think you are?" And that was from my wife.

To test whether this anecdotal evidence of public disapproval of our journalistic jihad against the prime minister is widespread, your executive has commissioned a poll by the respected Ottawa market research firm "Opinions 'R Us."

The question to be asked is: "Do you support Prime Minister Stephen Harper in his dictatorial attempts to muzzle the noble Parliamentary Press Gallery, thus destroying the cherished Canadian institution of freedom of the press?"

We will let you know the results once the survey is done. We are waiting for the Liberal leadership convention in order to have easy access to a large sample of unbiased and enlightened Canadians. Either that, or we'll just poll anyone who's voting for Bob Rae because, frankly, I've always wanted to ask those folks, "what the hell are you people thinking?"

[...]

Click here to read the rest. Very funny read!!!

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